


In the Stillness After

by celeste9



Series: A Series of Encounters [2]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Primeval
Genre: Crossover, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Father-Daughter Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-01
Updated: 2014-06-01
Packaged: 2018-02-03 00:48:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1725056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celeste9/pseuds/celeste9
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When the crisis is over, Phil takes Simmons to see her father. If Phil gets to see him, too, well, that's just a bonus. (spoilers for season one finale of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	In the Stillness After

**Author's Note:**

> Seriously, spoilers for S.H.I.E.L.D. For Primeval Denial Bingo, crossover: tv and movies.

The door opened immediately and Simmons flung herself into Lester’s arms, as he stood just inside the apartment. “Daddy,” she said, hiding her face in his neck.

Lester patted her back soothingly, clinging as tightly as his daughter was. “You had me out of my mind with worry, Jemma, the news…” He gave Phil a helpless look from over her shoulder.

Phil offered an approximation of a smile and wished that he could bury himself in Lester, too. But he left Simmons with her father, giving them the time he knew they both needed, turning around so he could return to the plane.

Avoiding the others, Phil went straight to his office. He wanted to throw himself into work, to keep himself busy so he wouldn’t have to think. Not about anything. He wished that he could have the comfort he knew he could get from Lester, but he wasn’t sure he would deserve it even if it were possible. Better that Simmons could spend time with him, that Lester could rest easier knowing his daughter was all right.

That was the only reason they were in London, after all. So Simmons could see her father. It had nothing to do with what Phil wanted. Nothing at all. The fact that his heart had felt lighter just seeing the man was nothing more than a lucky bonus.

It might have been only minutes or it might have been hours before Lester appeared in the doorway. He knocked softly but moved closer without waiting for permission. Lester had never seemed the sort of man who liked to wait for permission.

“Jemma’s asleep,” he said, seating himself in front of Phil’s desk. “I gather none of you will have been sleeping properly of late.”

“Not exactly,” Phil agreed.

“I saw the news and I… Thank you for keeping my daughter safe.”

This was probably the worst thing Lester could have said. “You shouldn’t thank me. If she’s safe, it’s not because of me. I…” Phil strained to keep the tension from showing, from clenching his fist until the knuckles went white. “I as good as killed your daughter, James. Her and Fitz.”

If Lester had had any idea what had actually happened to Simmons, what Ward had done to her because Phil had put her in a dangerous situation, that it was due only to her and Fitz’s own ingenuity and determination and a helping hand from Fury that she was even alive, Phil felt certain the man would never want to lay eyes on him again. Phil had little doubt that a man like Lester could make his life hell if he so chose.

Phil should have told him. He didn’t, though. He couldn’t.

Lester’s gaze was solemn and thoughtful rather than accusatory, as it should have been. “Did you make my daughter do anything she wouldn’t have done on her own?”

“No,” Phil admitted, though it wasn’t as simple as that.

“Then I can’t see the problem. I am never going to be comfortable with Jemma being in danger, and even knowing only the barest hints of what she’s been going through recently makes me ill. But I trust you with her life, Phil.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t.”

“And maybe you can let me decide that for myself. What’s happened, Phil? Will you tell me? Jemma…” Lester closed his eyes, a small shudder going through him. “Jemma told me a little but mostly she just cried.”

Phil winced.

“I know this thing between us, whatever it is, is new, but I can be here for you, if you want me to be. If you’ll let me.”

Letting people in was essentially the opposite of the way Phil lived. He knew the risks of trusting too easily and saying too much - knew that even better now, after… well, after. But this was Lester, and somehow it wasn’t the same. “Hydra happened.”

“Yes,” Lester said. “S.H.I.E.L.D. is gone and Captain America blew some things up and… And Jemma said Agent Ward…”

Phil took a breath to keep himself from doing anything more damning. “He was on my _team,_ James. I chose him to be a part of this, and he was against us from the start.” Or at least, Phil had thought he’d chosen Ward. May had shown him that he knew a lot less than he’d thought he knew. “If only I could have seen… Right in front of me all along.” Garrett, and Ward, and Phil had believed he knew in whom to place his trust. He had been a fool and now he’d paid for it.

Lester’s greenish gray eyes had a calmness to them, no matter what else was going on. Phil had always liked that. “I know the situation is vastly different, and I expect this won’t help at all, but I know how it feels to realize that you’ve been blind, that you’ve ignored the thing you should have been paying attention to the most. I know how it feels to make a mistake that costs lives.”

Watching Lester’s face, Phil realized how little they knew about each other. He remembered the files about the ARC, Oliver Leek, Stephen Hart, and wondered if he would ever have the right to ask.

“If I’ve learned anything, it’s that there is no point in drowning yourself in guilt and blame. All you can do is be better, and don’t let it happen again.”

“Has it? Happened again?”

Lester’s smile was thin. “Not yet.”

Somehow, Phil wasn’t surprised. He pushed his chair back and rose to his feet, taking a few strides and keeping his back to Lester. “Remember how I said I died?” he asked, and didn’t wait for an answer. He needed to say it, needed someone to listen. Someone who cared and someone who wasn’t a part of it. What May had done still hurt, still stung, even if he accepted that she had thought she was helping him, that she had been trying to do her duty as a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. Just following orders, like the rest of them. He could forgive, but he didn’t think he could forget.

“They _did_ something to me, when they brought me back. It was my… Oh, God, it was my work, experiments _I_ had done, and I can’t even remember it. The subjects, they… It went wrong. I think I’m going crazy. Do I seem crazy to you?”

There was a rustle of movement and when Lester spoke, his voice came from just behind Phil. “Not nearly as much as some others in my acquaintance I could name.”

Phil turned to face him. “Are you frightened?”

Lester’s mouth upturned in a faintly amused smile. “Of you? Quite frankly, I’ve faced threats far more dangerous than you, Agent, no matter how good you are with a sack of flour.”

Phil felt his own face crease into a relieved smile. He had forgotten he’d told Lester about that. “You would have made an excellent S.H.I.E.L.D. agent.”

“I expect so,” Lester said, without a hint of modesty. He reached out to settle his hand on Phil’s shoulder. “Whatever is happening to you, you’ll figure it out. That’s what you do. You’ve got my Jemma to help you, don’t you?”

“Yes, I do.” After everything that had happened, Phil had faith that his team could take on whatever came. It was an encouraging thought.

“You know, I… I wanted to ask Jemma if she would come home to me, after all this. If she would stop, if she would find a job in a research lab somewhere. Somewhere safe, somewhere without Hydra and villains and tech that makes it easier to kill people in extraordinary ways.”

“Why didn’t you?”

Lester’s hand slid up and back, to rest at the back of Phil’s neck, his fingers threading through Phil’s hair. “Because I know her.” He held Phil’s eyes. “I know you, too.”

His breath catching, Phil let himself lean forward, pressing his cheek against Lester’s. He inhaled, feeling heady with the scent of Lester’s shampoo and his cologne. “I wish I could stay here with you,” he said, the tremendous need he felt outweighing his embarrassment. He wondered if there would ever be a day he was with Lester when he wouldn’t need to wish for more time. He didn’t know how Lester had come to mean so much to him already. He wondered if that should concern him.

“I do, too,” Lester said, his fingers tightening in Phil’s hair. “But you can stay tonight?”

“Yes, I can stay tonight.” Phil liked the feel of Lester’s slim hips beneath his hands and the press of his chest against Phil’s. He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt such an aching need for the comfort of another warm body.

“Good.” Lester’s lips were as soft as Phil remembered as they dragged over his skin. “I suggest we find your bed, as mine is rather occupied at the moment.”

Honestly Phil thought he would have let Lester have his way with him right there in the office and wouldn’t have cared even if Skye barged in at the least opportune moment. However, he had enough sense to know that he would care later, and in any case, he wasn’t certain that risky public sex was a particular kink of Lester’s.

He realized that he hadn’t moved, that he was still clutching Lester to himself. With reluctance, he moved back, running a hand over his hair and attempting to compose himself.

“Bed,” Lester suggested again, his eyes soft as he looked at Phil.

“Yes,” Phil said, and began to lead the way.

If one night was all they had, he was damn well going to make it count.

**_End_ **


End file.
